It’s That Time Again

I’ve been gone for a minute

No but really, it’s been a minute.

Even more of a minute than it was the last time I said “it’s been a minute.”

I’ve been wanting to return to the blog for a while, but as time passed by, I couldn’t figure out how I wanted to return. In other words, I couldn’t figure out the next post.

But anyways.

Here it is.

It’s very close to the end of the year. Like literally a few weeks away. Around this time of year the air changes and all of sudden a lot of us turn into the pre-better us. We get a whiff of that new season air and decide that it’s time to plan to be better once the ball drops at 12 AM.

“New year, New me “

“I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions but I’m making some changes this new year.”

Whether you believe in NYRs or not, you have to admit that around this time of year you start thinking about what you might want to do differently to put you closer to whatever end goals you have in life.

4 Steps to Stopping Limited Beliefs Control Your Destiny

Are your thoughts honoring the dreams and goals that you have or are you limiting yourself through your adopted beliefs?

We all know that hard work is a determining factor in making amazing things in our lives, but there’s another factor that we don’t always mention that has a direct effect on whether or not you’ll ever see the greatness that you’re destined to. Limited Beliefs.

So often we wrap our precious dreams and goals with thoughts that don’t cultivate the right energy to make these things happen. We make amazing products but then believe that people are broke, or don’t have money to purchase the things that we believe in the most. We dream to buy beautiful houses but then say things like, “It’s going to take me a long time before I’ll ever see that happen.” It may not seem like much, but believe it or not, this type of mentality closes the window of opportunity for the possibilities that could be afforded to you. Why dream up such a beautiful dream just to stunt it’s growth before it ever reaches the external world. There are enough struggles and setbacks that will come your way once you set your mind to accomplishing something. The last thing you need is to allow your mind to negatively dictate the circumstances of how you can accomplish it.

The next time you have a limited thought, take a minute to do these 4 things:

Examine where the limited belief is derived

Many of our fundamental beliefs come from our immediate family and consist of things such as religion, how to properly tie your shoe, or how to speak to people. While there are great beliefs that stick with us throughout our adulthood, sometimes other beliefs aren’t so helpful. Many people grow up with crippling beliefs that they’ve gotten from their environment about themselves or the way of the world and it doesn’t really serve you when it comes to dream building. Beliefs such as “I’m average,” or “I’m too short to do this or that,” or “people don’t really care about what it is that I care about.” When you experience your limited belief coming into thought, take a moment to analyze where it may have come from, whether past experiences, from hear say, or learned behavior.

Rebel Music: Black Music That Understands Me

Just this past weekend there was a rally going on in South Carolina for people who are against making the confederate flag illegal. I don’t mean to nor do I like the fact that it seems like I’m always thinking about race, but honestly, how can I help it when everyday I’m getting a new notification with a new hashtag about another attack on black men and women? It gets exhausting. And while I know that’s the main reason why so many people shy away from discussions concerning the state of Black America, it just seems like it doesn’t benefit anyone if you’re silent and blind to the injustices happening around you. No matter what the situation is, I always realize that any of those slain individuals could have been me or people that I love.

It’s a lot to take in when it seems to be saturated everywhere, however it always makes me feel good when I know that I’m not the only stewing over these atrocities and thinking of ways to make a better tomorrow. Just like there is music for those who hang in the trap, those who hang in a church, or those who do both *cues “I luh God”*, there’s also music that acknowledges what’s going on with black people and are trying to unite us all to think differently and make some type of change, even if it’s personal. Here’s some of my favorite Rebel Music to listen to when I’m feeling like the world doesn’t understand me.

I’ve been gone for a minute…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a new blog entry.

In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve contributed to the internet world in general. There has been a lot of things happening in this country, some good, a lot bad, that have caused me to take an unintentional break. I didn’t want to add another opinion to the stream of noise already polluting the internet in a time where no one really knows what to do to restore some sense of progress or hope.

It’s very important to me that I always share authentically how I feel through my writing but it’s also equally important to me that it always comes from a place of… light.

As I’ve taken a break from posting, I have searched for a safe haven outside of the world, a place not of oblivion, but a place where the sadness of this world doesn’t make me angry. I can be honest and tell you that I’ve been experiencing a lot of anger. It seems like everyday a band-aid is being ripped off a wound that has never been treated properly enough for it to heal. There are people in the public eye who feel that they can speak for me because they’ve transformed themselves to look like me, yet my voice is still very unheard. The people who should be proudly speaking out for the people who do look like me are silent. It’s allowed to realize how often I’m (we are) pushed into supporting everyone’s cause without ever receiving the same support back.

STARTING OVER

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Which gives you and I permission to work as long as we need in order to see our potential manifest into something special. When you’ve got a dream you’re actively working towards, it will take some time to perfect the vision into something substantial and long standing. Sometimes your first idea isn’t as much of a hit as you thought it would be, which consequently gives you the challenge of coming up with a new idea or starting over again. Having to start over can sound so defeating when you’ve already invested so much of yourself. Whether it’s a relationship, a dream, or a project, starting over is never something that you want to think about happening in the event that you’re plans don’t turn out the way you expect.

“Lost Ones” : Looking For Lauryn Hill to Restore the Substance of Our Culture? Look Again…

A while ago I read an article titled “It’s Finally Time to Stop Caring About Lauryn HIl” that expressed how we should all quit rooting for the awaited return of Lauryn Hill because if we haven’t seen it by now, we’re never gonna get it. The author stated, “It occurred to me that, as great as Miseducation and The Fugees’ The Score are, they’re part of a distant past. Lauryn Hill was a great artist. She’s not anymore and it’s time we stop holding her in that regard, waiting for her to pay off on a promise that’s long since expired.”

He went on to say, “Most importantly, her most dedicated fans (myself included) have wondered, when will she produce another great piece of art? We’ve loved The Score and Miseducation so much, for so long, that we’d do anything to have her come back. Who does one album that sells six million copies in the U.S. alone and another that sells eight million, and then just stops?”

The article talked about the late, low quality, and expensive performances of Lauryn Hill and all of the other private matters brought to light by the media about Lauryn’s personal affairs that’s more than likely the culprit of her non-return. He praised her for what she was but declared that we should finally give up that hope that we held for such a  talent.

After initially reading this I thought, hmmm, maybe he’s right.

2 Year Natural-Versary (Transition style)

May 24th makes two years since I had my last chemical relaxer. I am not a natural hair blogger, but this hair journey has been one of great introspect, so I want to share some of my experience.

May 24th 2013, Last Fresh Relaxer

I wasn’t always relaxed, in fact, I got my first relaxer at the age of 19. Before that I regularly got my hair hot combed or pressed and curled as it’s also referred to as. With both hot combing and relaxing, my hair still remained healthy. I never struggled with heat damage, color damage, breakage or abnormal shedding. So the decision to transition to natural was kind of random, but came at a perfect time when I truly had the freedom of doing so. My first reason for going back natural was because I wanted to see if I could possibly get the Tia and Tamara natural curls that I always wanted. I also loved the versatility that comes with natural hair. However, I was afraid of the ugly stage. You all know what stage I’m talking about lol. It’s the stage when you have no clue what to do with your hair, how to wear it or how to maintain it when in a professional environment. I worked in a corporate bank that was very European in it’s appearance preference so going natural then really wasn’t an option.

Motivational Monday: If We Just Tried

I have never been a runner. I remember walking for every single mile run test I had to take in grade school and being excused for it because I would complain about the cramps in my ribs. I really did have abnormal ribs, but it never stopped me from doing other cardio work such as marching and dancing in a marching band or playing roughly with my cousins or friends. The truth is I was never fast, and so, I never liked running.

As I’ve been focusing more on my health and fitness, a strong part of me wants to run because of all of the benefits. But I’ve already deemed “running isn’t my thing.” And I can be honest and say running isn’t my thing because, well, I just don’t feel like I’m good at it.

How many activities or challenges have we decided not to take up because of predetermined conclusions about how well we’ll do in it. Whether it’s running, or exercising in general, writing a book, or taking pictures, or speaking in front of other people – we all have a way of discouraging ourselves from something.

April Favorites

New Music

Janelle Monae’s “Yoga” Video

Madame Janelle gave us a whole new sound with her new single “Yoga” featuring her new artist, Jidenna. It’s a single off of the forthcoming compilation EP Wondaland Presents THE EPPHUS. While I’ve seen mixed reviews on the song and the video, I personally really like both. I believe that some of the bad reviews are coming from Monae fans that aren’t really interested in seeing her evolve from her covered up butler get up to a midriff showing ensemble. Regardless, Janelle looks amazing and I’m excited about the fact that she doesn’t allow anyone to place her in a box, even if she’s the one who created it. So as for “Yoga,” I’m all the way here for it.

Products

Shea Moisture: Jamaican Black Castor Oil Strengthen, Grow, & Restore Shampoo AND Shea Moisture: Tahitian Noni & Monoi Smooth & Repair Rinse-Out Conditioner

CVS had a great BOGO Free sale in April for the Shea Moisture products so it was the perfect time for me to try out their products for the very first time. I decided on this shampoo because I’ve seen a few natural hair YouTube-ers use it and I’ve read about the benefits of castor oil. I picked the conditioner because it said that it would help frizz, which is something I’ve been experiencing a lot of lately. I used the products once a week for 3 weeks and I believe that it’s given me great results. My hair has seemed to be a little more hydrated and the conditioner makes my hair feel a little bit more manageable and less frizzy. The shampoo leaves my hair feeling very clean without having the dry stripped feel afterwards. I’m waiting for the next Shea Moisture product sale to try out some more of their products.

Motivational Monday: We Are All The Same

“We all live with the objective of being happy; Our lives are all different and yet the same” -Anne Frank

This past weekend was my sister’s 25th birthday celebration and we spent 2 whole days at 2 different festivals surrounded by hundreds of jolly, drinking people.

After seeing so many different faces, so many colors, so many styles, and so many unique features, I was reminded of our likeness… while we’re all different, we are all yet still the same.